Thursday, March 25, 2010

Worrywart

Good afternoon! How's your week going? Are you like me, and it's just zooming by, or is it at a crawl? Either way, hope it's a good one!

I can't believe March is almost over - the time's just flying by. Soon it'll be Passover, then Easter and the next thing you know, it'll be summah-time. I CANNOT wait for my vitamin D stores to be replenished and get in some rays. It'll be glorious!

Thank you so much for all of the comments and e-mails on my last post. Your support, love and good thoughts have touched my heart in a way that I'll never be able to express. Life's not always fun and simple, but having folks like you around definitely brings out the good. Y'all are amazing, end of story.

I'm doing pretty well these days - way less tears and many more smiles. It must be the weather! I had a cranky moment a couple of days ago, but I'm over it; life's way too short to be sad.

I had a realization the other day - I spend 70% of my time thinking about...

...WEIGHT.

Shocking, I know. From the minute I wake up until the second I close mu eyes, it's all weight, all the time. I still count calories and portion out food, so that's a big time suck, but I also work at a plus-size retailer. In other words, when I'm not thinking about and analyzing myself, I'm usually talking about it with a client. Add in all the blog posts I read and even sometimes write, the time spent talking about it at the gym and with family and friends...the list goes on.

How many years of my life have I spent thinking, talking and being obsessed with weight? I remember crying on my trainer's shoulder last year, being devastated that after losing 20 pounds, I was more self-obssessed than ever before. I was scared that as the numbers went down, the obsessiveness would go up, and just get worse and worse until I combusted emotionally and mentally.

Scary, eh?

There are days when worrying somehow keeps me "safe". It's as much a friend as food was, and I think it's time to kick it to the curb. Just like I need food to fuel me, worry will still have a place in my life, but it needs to be a bit player, not a leading man. I'm tired of it ruling me, stopping me from life because of the "what ifs".

So, Worry?
You and me are finished.

What are you breaking up with this week?
Have a great Thursday!





4 comments:

Stephanie said...

I love you Carly! I really do! The past and I need to do some breaking up as well.

love2eatinpa said...

good for you for recognizing that you need to break up with worry. it's totally normal, but it is negative energy that you totally don't need.
i need to break up with my ED. I'm on the right path - 2+ years binge free, but I'm still working at being free of the compulsive (over)eating.

clay said...

Realizing things like this lifts a ton of stress of your shoulders! Good for you and keep it up!

Tina said...

I wanted to say thank you for visiting my blog and entering the giveaway. I love seeing readers come out in the comments section. :) Where in the south are you from? I'm in the Atlanta area.

And I agree, that we spend too much time thinking about weight and worrying about things. Those are actually the exact two things I chose to "leave at the foot of the cross" on the prayer path I attended this week at church for Easter.