Saturday, April 3, 2010

Change and C25K, take two

In the last few months, I've gone through a bunch of changes.
I've talked about worry and feeling helpless and out of control, and even talked about a new way to eat.
There's been a few issues that have reared their ugly heads lately, the biggest of which was feeling as if my weight loss isn't earned. I mean, obviously it doesn't just happen on its own, but as a very imperfect person, I struggle with the fact that I can work my butt off for months and not lose an ounce, and then do nothing at all and lose 15 lbs. in a month. But hey, life's unpredictable, right? So is my body.

Since I broke up with worry, things haven't exactly been shrugged off my shoulders, but I have yet to worry. I've questioned, examined and pondered, but worry? Naaaah.
There's semantics for you!

There is something I need want to talk about.
One annoying, painful, nagging thought has flitted in and out of my head so many times over the last few months, and I've been scared to share it.
Guys, for the last 5 months, every so often, I've had the craziest urge... run.

I'm no runner; heck, I'm barely a walker.
I grew up with a dad who ran marathons like nobody's business, including Montreal, New York, Chicago and Boston. I always thought it was pretty cool, but never had any desire or whim to share in the tradition.
But now?
Now I want to lace up my sneaks and just take off, wherever and whenever that may be.

Seriously (my mom's probably in shock right now).

I'm usually one to hide in safe places, and I wish I could do that now.
I can't, because I'm not that person anymore.

A change is a-comin.
Can you feel it?

Step one?
C25K, also known as Couch to 5K.

C25K is a program designed to take you from being a non-runner to running five kilometers, or 3 miles, in a mere 9 weeks. I tried the program out using my handy-dandy iphone app in January, and failed. The first day of the program is 31 minutes, including a 5 minute warm-up and cool-down with walk/run intervals of 2 minutes:60 seconds. I made it 10 minutes, including the warm-up. I didn't expect much from myself, and I didn't get all that much in return. It was disappointing and a big mental block, not to mention emotionally brutal.

Guys, as much as I hate to admit it, I learned a valuable lesson from that day. My body failed me because I failed my body. I've spent so much time dismissing myself and focusing on my weaknesses without spending any time devoted to creating strengths. I can't expect the results if I refuse to focus on making an effort, and that means mentally, too.

This past Thursday (April 1st), I challenged C25K, day 1 to a rematch. I wore my Polar
and workout gear to Basic Nutrition, tweeted frantically the entire time, and headed to the gym right after class. Got up to the track, ready to go, and tweeted:
There's a basketball game under the track. Not only are there 15 guys watching my a** run, but the gym's a zillion degrees. Super. #c25k

Thanks go out to Krissie, Mish, Susan and Kepa for supporting me (and calming me down) on Twitter - you rock my socks!

This should be interesting, and change feels kinda good right now.

P.S. Check out my sweaty mug over at Prior Fat Girl!


Susan said...

"It was definitely more of a synchronized limp than a run"

Hahaha, I've been told that I run like Phoebe from Friends. Everyone has their signature stride, even famous marathoners, so embrace that limp ;)

I started running with C25K too!! In August '08. I did that first run along a highway near my cottage and almost died. It was a hot, muggy day out, and I felt like I was running through pea soup. Not to mention, I think I was sprinting during those 60 seconds and not actually jogging. The best thing about the program though, even though at times tough, is that you can see improvement with almost any run. That first 20 minute run (in week 7??) to this day is one of my proudest fitness accomplishments. More than the 10 miles I ran last fall!! You'll get there, you're taking all the right steps :) (or limps :P )

Stephanie said...

I am SO proud of you Carly! No one is perfect, just perfectly flawed :)

You inspire me my beautiful friend, thank you for that! <3

Mary :: A Merry Life said...

You are awesome. And inspiring.

Let me know how the workout pledge goes!

Loved your sweaty pic - hurray for working hard!

krissie said...

I am SO proud of you! And tickled that I was able to check twitter just when you needed encouragement.

Well done, my friend.