I've talked about worry and feeling helpless and out of control, and even talked about a new way to eat.
There's been a few issues that have reared their ugly heads lately, the biggest of which was feeling as if my weight loss isn't earned. I mean, obviously it doesn't just happen on its own, but as a very imperfect person, I struggle with the fact that I can work my butt off for months and not lose an ounce, and then do nothing at all and lose 15 lbs. in a month. But hey, life's unpredictable, right? So is my body.
Since I broke up with worry, things haven't exactly been shrugged off my shoulders, but I have yet to worry. I've questioned, examined and pondered, but worry? Naaaah.
There's semantics for you!
There is something I
One annoying, painful, nagging thought has flitted in and out of my head so many times over the last few months, and I've been scared to share it.
Guys, for the last 5 months, every so often, I've had the craziest urge...
I'm no runner; heck, I'm barely a walker.
I grew up with a dad who ran marathons like nobody's business, including Montreal, New York, Chicago and Boston. I always thought it was pretty cool, but never had any desire or whim to share in the tradition.
Now I want to lace up my sneaks and just take off, wherever and whenever that may be.
Seriously (my mom's probably in shock right now).
I'm usually one to hide in safe places, and I wish I could do that now.
I can't, because I'm not that person anymore.
A change is a-comin.
Can you feel it?
C25K, also known as Couch to 5K.
C25K is a program designed to take you from being a non-runner to running five kilometers, or 3 miles, in a mere 9 weeks. I tried the program out using my handy-dandy iphone app in January, and failed. The first day of the program is 31 minutes, including a 5 minute warm-up and cool-down with walk/run intervals of 2 minutes:60 seconds. I made it 10 minutes, including the warm-up. I didn't expect much from myself, and I didn't get all that much in return. It was disappointing and a big mental block, not to mention emotionally brutal.
Guys, as much as I hate to admit it, I learned a valuable lesson from that day. My body failed me because I failed my body. I've spent so much time dismissing myself and focusing on my weaknesses without spending any time devoted to creating strengths. I can't expect the results if I refuse to focus on making an effort, and that means mentally, too.
This past Thursday (April 1st), I challenged C25K, day 1 to a rematch. I wore my Polar
and workout gear to Basic Nutrition, tweeted frantically the entire time, and headed to the gym right after class. Got up to the track, ready to go, and tweeted:
There's a basketball game under the track. Not only are there 15 guys watching my a** run, but the gym's a zillion degrees. Super. #c25k
Thanks go out to Krissie, Mish, Susan and Kepa for supporting me (and calming me down) on Twitter - you rock my socks!
This should be interesting, and change feels kinda good right now.
P.S. Check out my sweaty mug over at Prior Fat Girl!